Tag: Lifeline

De-cluttering life

Posted on | by Alexander Gilmore

Messes, messes, oh the messes.  Remembering what it was like when we had several young homeschooled children, I remember being baffled about the extent of the messes.  It wasn’t like that in my house growing up.  Oh right, we’re homeschooling!  On top of regular toys, we have educational toys and workbooks and videos and art supplies, etc.  And we’re home all day using them!  This became a real source of stress for me and for the children when I was angry and upset about their messes.  

I read a brilliant idea in a parenting book (I think it was “Parenting With Love and Logic” but I could be wrong) called “Gunny Bag”.  Gunny Bag in my case was a pillowcase with a scowly face drawn on it.  The purpose of Gunny Bag was to sneak into their rooms (via Mom) and collect everything that was lying about on the floor that shouldn’t be there.  Those things could be retrieved from the jaws of Gunny Bag by doing chores for Mom or by paying $ to get them back.  

Is this your life?

I’m not sure how much it really helped with keeping rooms cleaner, but it did teach them what they valued.  And as a mother, I learned what sorts of things each child valued and what things they could easily let go of.  That helped me know what sorts of purchases were valuable and what would end up being a waste of money.  I’m not sure what they learned or if it was just a fun game for them, but I do know that with 4 adult children now, they’ve all demonstrated the ability to discern between things they value and want to keep and what they can let go of.  They don’t agonize about getting rid of things that aren’t serving them anymore (like their mom and dad sometimes do).

But I realize I’m getting better at that because of my LifeLine training; because in LifeLine living, we learn to let go of old limiting beliefs and patterns that we once treasured, valued, and needed and replace them with a tidier way of living.  We replace anger, frustration, anxiety, depression, etc. into acceptance, understanding, patience, love, joy, peace, etc.  Sometimes we recognize the old patterns for the garbage that they are, like the dried up markers, headless Barbies, and games with missing pieces.  We also recognize what used to have value but is no longer serving us like old and frayed toothbrushes, outgrown toys, partnerless socks, and well-worn but now holy shoes.

So let’s do a Gunny Bag for the mind exercise together!  Think of an automatic, emotional response that you recognize as garbage (modeled for you as a child so it became yours but you don’t want it) or as something that used to have value for you but is now getting in the way of your progress (in life or in relationships).  Either way, we’ve learned and grown from these patterns and so we can say:

“Thank you subconscious for the gifts of _____________________ (your pattern), but I no longer need it.  I now have the tools, strategies, and support to think, feel, and act with love.  I am _________________(your replacement pattern).  Infinite love and gratitude.”  Then let your heart’s intention guide you into your daily living with that new pattern.  It’s work, yes.  But sometimes bringing out Gunny Bag is just what we need to bring awareness to our feelings and behaviors and determine their value in our lives.  And those , my friends, are messes worth cleaning up.

Love and light to you,

Lisa

lifelinewithlisa@gmail.com

If you would like more support please email me to schedule a session.

Activating Your Superpower

Posted on | by Lisa Gilmore

I began my brisk walk on the trail like usual, a podcast cued up and ready to play at 1.2x speed, ready to burn some fat and learn something valuable.  I only do this form of exercise once/week and look forward to it.  As I rounded a corner, the view caught me off guard.  This is a view I see (or don’t see) every week.  The different shades of green from the different trees, weeds and grass, blue sky.  I stopped the podcast.  I slowed my walk.  I took some deep breaths.  I noticed the birds singing and saw them flit between trees.  The wind made everything move and shimmer.  The sunlight amplified the shades of green.  I felt like I was in a sacred grove.  I felt connected to the beauty around me.  I felt grateful.  I felt warm and radiant.  I felt in awe.

My therapist daughter recently introduced me to polyvagal theory which corresponds with what I’ve been teaching and practicing concerning our parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous systems.  The above moment would be considered a ventral vagal state, which correlates to the parasympathetic healing state. https://themovementparadigm.com/how-to-map-your-own-nervous-sytem-the-polyvagal-theory/ This website has great info and a neat chart if you want to know more. 

Both parasympathetic and sympathetic are part of the autonomic nervous system.  That means that they react to stimuli automatically.  But there are some things we can do to consciously get ourselves out of the rushed, hectic, frenzied, worrisome, stressful state (sympathetic).  The parasympathetic state is one in which digestion, regeneration, detoxification, and healing occur.

Being in sympathetic state isn’t bad; it’s necessary at times, daily in fact.  We use it everyday to move, work, play sports, take on challenges, etc.  But we aren’t designed to sustain that state long term.  Doing so wears away at our physical, mental, and spiritual health.  Imagine the world with us all being Hulks most of the time!  We aren’t doing anyone any favors.  That Hulk mode is a superpower–to be used sparingly.  

Sometimes switching states feels subtle and flowing.  You spend time working on an urgent project or at a high stress job and then you take a break, eat, go for a walk.  Later you go home and relax, connect with loved ones and meditate.  Other times the switch feels like Hulk.  You’re calm and pleasant one moment and then turn mean, defensive, and irritable in an instant because of something someone says.  Just like Hulk, we need training.  Most of us need to practice slowing down and getting into healing mode (zen). It’s ok to be in “go, go, go, gotta get it done” mode for part of the day, but how many of us end up doing that all day?  

Studies show that “insufficient Parasympathetic activity with excessive Sympathetic activity (a typical result of persistent stress, including psychosocial stress) may suppress the immune system, over stimulate the production of oxidants leading to excessive oxidative stress, raise blood pressure, promote atherosclerosis, cause persistent inflammation, accelerate diabetes, promote atherosclerosis, and accelerate the onset of heart disease, kidney disease, or dementia.” https://franklincardiovascular.com/overactive-sympathetic-nervous-system/#:~:text=Insufficient%20Parasympathetic%20activity%20with%20excessive,blood%20pressure%2C%20promote%20atherosclerosis%2C%20cause

I looked up articles in PubMed but there’s too many to list. 

I now allow myself time each day, several times a day to enter into this healing state.  We can spend a lot of time and money doing things to encourage this state; and we can do simple, free things as well.  As the above story illustrates, we can simply stop multitasking and focus on one thing, being really present.  We can take deep breaths.  We can watch a sunrise or sunset and smile.  We can connect with those we love.  We can enjoy a pet or nature. Light exercise.  Eat slowly, noticing the flavors and textures.  Hold hands with a loved one.  Gaze at the stars.  Hum a tune. “Take time to smell the roses.” These are some of the things we can create habits of doing often.  

I also use some therapies to aid my transition into a healing state.  BrainTap and light therapy are probably my favorites.  I’m using my DNA Vibe right now as I type this for light therapy.  I use an infrared sauna often.  BrainTap helps me get deep sleep at night or during a midday nap.  Sleep is critical for healing and regeneration.  I rarely wake up to an alarm and let my body awake naturally when ready.  I take vitamins to lower my cortisol level when needed.  I use adaptogenic mushrooms and Vit. D to enhance my immune system.  I fast for 3+ days quarterly to boost autophagy and stem cell production.  I eat low inflammatory foods…usually, lol.  I exercise regularly.  These are just more ideas that may speak to you.

My challenge this month is for each of us to choose at least 3 things to implement into our schedules that activate our healing power.  Improve the quality and quantity of that innate power and you’ll find yourself loving yourself, your life, and others even more.

All my Love,

Lisa Gilmore

lifelinewithlisa@gmail.com

What is your Programming? By Lisa Gilmore

Posted on | by Lisa Gilmore

Computer Programmers

I used to hear and repeat the idea that:  “You can’t control what happens to you, but you always have a choice in how you respond.”  I now believe that only partially.  I’ve learned that I/we all have programs running that cause us to act automatically in certain ways.  If something happens automatically, there’s no conscious thinking involved; therefore, how can one choose a reaction before an automatic one happens?  Sometimes there is no choice.  So the key to conscious living (one that is intentional and full of choice) is found in the programming.

Just like a computer, our programming can change as well.  

Sometimes the computer just updates, making minor changes to keep things functioning smoothly.

Sometimes new programs are created to fit a need or desire of a community.

Sometimes the computer crashes and renders much of it useless.

How do we change our programming–our automatic responses that no longer serve us, those we love, or the world at large?

Let’s begin by changing our language.  Let’s begin to take ownership of the life we’re living.  We often do things we don’t want to do because of obligation, duty, sacrifice, or love.  And those can be honorable choices, so I didn’t include “I want to” in the list below as I believe choosing is more powerful than wanting.

Instead of: Change to:

“I have to…” “I choose to…” or “I choose not to…”

“I should…” “I choose to…” or “I choose not to…”

“I don’t have enough (money, time, etc)” “I choose other priorities”

“I can’t” “I choose not to” or “I can’t…yet!”

Next, let’s begin to be aware of what programs we’re running.  Many programs are designed for survival, to keep us safe.  In fact, we are hardwired for survival.  The limbic brain is the part of the brain that holds the “fight, flight, or freeze” response.  Thanks to the hippocampus and amygdala, our memories are stored in such a way that the most traumatic ones are kept alive and waiting for us to pull from to keep us wary of other similar experiences.  The normal, daily, happy life experiences get stored in long term memory. The traumatic ones stay in short term memory and become the programs that we run automatically, whether helpful or not.  The problem is that most of us aren’t in life/death situations every day in which we need the survival programs running; but the stress (or what we perceive as stress) in our lives keeps them active as if we were.

So it’s time to begin to analyze our programs.  Next time you notice an automatic response (behavioral or emotional) to a trigger/stimulus, ask yourself this question:  “Would I ever consciously choose to feel like this or behave like this?”  If the answer is “yes,” keep it.  It might just be saving your life.  If your answer is “hell no!” then it’s time for an upgraded program.

Just a tip here:  when you find a program you can say “hell no” to, first be grateful for it.  It’s kept you alive and well.  In LifeLine we say, “Thank you, subconscious, for the gift of this protection.”  

The next essential step in reprogramming is to decide what the new program is you want to run.  This one is your choice.  What’s the next best version of  yourself?  How would that next best version of you feel and behave?  Who would you choose to be in the face of that trigger/difficulty?  What would you choose?  Then we can say, after thanking ourselves for the gifts of protection, “I now have the tools, strategy, and support to think, feel, and act with love.  I am__________, feeling ____________.”  That will become the new program.  Granted, it still needs lots of repetition to replace the old pattern, but that’s where we start.  

Every LifeLine session begins that way.  We acknowledge the old pattern and bring in a new one.  Then we find the areas of the subconscious that are not in agreement with the new pattern and get them on board.  These include finding areas of imbalance, gifts of protection, elements of change, expression channels, and holding patterns.  It’s an amazing process. 

 Sometimes we just need an upgrade. Sometimes we need a brand new program that we’ve never considered.  Sometimes we need to completely reboot.  No matter what, changing our language and our programs will help us become the next best version of ourselves.  And isn’t that what life is all about?  Growth and improvement?  I also acknowledge grace in my life.  There are times that grace and mercy have intervened and changed me.  I also believe we’ve been given stewardship of our own bodies and life creations.  We are creators and co-creators once we become aware enough to choose.  May we all awake and arise to conscious living a little more each day by improving our programs is my challenge this month.  

Love and light to you all,  

Infinite love and gratitude,

Lisa

lifelinewithlisa@gmail.com

Imperfection By Lisa Gilmore

Posted on | by Lisa Gilmore | 4 Comments on Imperfection By Lisa Gilmore

I’ve been reading Brene Brown’s book The Gifts of Imperfection.  My favorite line from it so far  “As a recovering perfectionist and aspiring good-enoughist…” describes myself very well.  She clarifies the difference between healthy striving to be our best and perfectionism.  Perfectionism is actually armor we choose for protection and a mask we choose to hide behind.  The book gives great tools and help for overcoming perfection, so if you’re interested in that, please invest in her book.  Now for part of my journey with this.

I wouldn’t say my perfectionism was all-consuming in my life.  My home has never been perfectly organized and clean.  My meals are usually slapped together and casually presented.  My hair is usually pulled back into the easiest, most comfy, practical ponytail.  So why do I think I have struggled with perfectionism?  Straight A’s since the 3rd grade.  Voted “most likely to succeed” as a senior.  Dutifully signing up for every service opportunity that came my way.  Those are all fine and dandy, so….

How I know that these were laced with the drug of perfectionism is because of my feelings.  Despite all of these good things, I felt misery.  I was never really happy with myself or my situation.  

Another semester of all A’s:  “Who cares, there’s another one coming to prepare for and a GRE to study for.”

Voted most likely to succeed:  ”So what, now the real work begins.”

Serving/volunteering at every chance:  no conscious thoughts about this one.  Just a pattern for me to be “good” and distract myself from caring for and loving myself.

I began to notice my perfectionism patterns after reading another of Brown’s books called Daring Greatly because of the level of shame she helped me identify in my life.  So it’s been a journey since then.  I noticed myself apologizing for the state of my house if someone popped by.  I found myself apologizing to the family about the meals I made.  I discovered that it felt excruciatingly hard to say “no” to anyone.

When I recognized those patterns in my life I decided to outwardly change them.  I committed to myself that I would never apologize about those things again.  If someone doesn’t like my housekeeping, they don’t need to come over or they can do it themselves.  If I burn dinner or make a simple one-pot meal I might say:  “Oops.  I burned dinner.  If you don’t want to eat it that’s fine.” Or “Dinner is simple tonight.”  It was so easy for me to start or finish those sentences with “Sorry”, but why feel sorry when I did my best?  The “sorry” was really a declaration of shame.  What I learned to do is separate my failings from my self-esteem/self-worth.

Making those changes has improved my life significantly. Now I tend to sit awhile on decisions to help someone, and decide if it’s something that resonates with my mission/purpose/passion at the time.  Is there anyone else more qualified to help?  Can I give myself fully and joyfully to this situation?  Is the need real or pretended, exaggerated or inflated?  

After a year of improvement, it was time to level up again.  This time by way of a trigger.  I took on the role of “team mom” of my 6th grade daughter’s basketball team.  I was mostly there to encourage and provide bandaids; that fit my nature and desire to be helpful.  But one day the head and assistant coaches didn’t make it to practice.  I was in charge. I’ve never played basketball!  I was so angry after that pre-game practice!  When I dove deeper–past the blame game–I discovered the underlying belief of “not good enough.”  Just as a tip, they say if you’re angry, it’s a cover emotion for something much deeper and not necessarily about the person you’re angry at; it’s all about you.

As a LifeLine practitioner, my way of dealing with such things is to run a session with myself. The intention I chose:  “I am enough; feeling successful and confident.”  I was able to drop the judgment, fear, and anger I was experiencing and back to a place of loving what is.  For me, a miracle happened that I totally wasn’t expecting.  Our team won 3 games in a row, when they hadn’t won a game yet.  Granted, there were lots of variables to create that, but what if my hidden limiting emotion of “not good enough’ emanated from me, contributing to the previous losing season.  What if my shift to “I am good enough” radiates outward to my family and friends?  That would be amazing.  But the shift within me is enough.  

I’ve now added to my mantra “feeling fulfilled” as I’ve needed to do another round with this one.  I now feel the added weight of the perfection armor lightening and the mask lowering and enjoying the process.

Keep shining bright!

I’m here for you if you need support.

lifelinewithlisa@gmail.com